mateofsesshomaru's Xanga

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL EVAR!!! XD

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:52:22 GMT

So, yes, today was my last day of high school. I am now officially a college freshman. How does it feel?

It's rather saddening, actually.

I mean, hell. I LIKED going to school. The people were stupid, and the teachers were harsh. But once in a while I would find some cool people to hang out with or a really cool teacher that was enjoyable to have. It was always interesting to experience new classes, just to see what the teacher would be like and what we would learn. Plus, I was the SMART KID! XD I'm such a geek, but I like being considered "the smart kid" of a class. Oh, the arrogance! But it was COOL to be smart.

So what now, now that I don't have that anymore.

I'm "fresh meat" again -- this time in college! Converse is an AWESOME college, with really nice people, but...it's not like high school. If it's anything like my English IV Honors class with Mrs. Thompson, it's gonna be HARD!!! I mean, just this semester, I came out with...what...a 79? I'm only guessing right now, because I haven't seen my English grade (we took the exam today, btw, and it was easier than I thought it would be) yet. College is gonna rock, since I've met most of the more important people of the college. It's cool being buddies with the Prez of the college. XD

But anyway.

Last day of school consisted of my last two exams. I only got to go to 3rd and 4th block today. The 3rd block exam (English) was pretty easy, considering I had seen ALL of the questions before. There wasn't even any questions on that stupid book that I read that had the SHITTIEST ending. (It was called "Things Fall Apart" and the good guy KILLED HIMSELF! I was so pissed...) But, yeah. Even the vocab questions I had seen before. I didn't recognize all of the words, but I definitely remembered "laconic", which was "terse". :/

Then, there was 4th block. Walking in, there were, like, 8 boxes of pizza from Papa John's! Hellz yes! :D We ate some pizza, drank some soda, and goofed off for a bit, and then took the exam. The exam...was only 25 questions long. I made an 81 on that exam (she graded them before we left for the day) and my final grade for Prob/Stats turned out to be an 85 for the semester. :D But, it wasn't over. After everyone finished the exam, the teacher put on a slide show for us. It was sappy as hell, and afterwards, it sank in that it was really the last day of school ever. Ever. I started crying! That's my way of celebrating, I suppose. D:

So, yeah. I didn't get to see Michael today, as he no longer has a Calculus class to go to (they had already done their exam), so he didn't show up for it. :( But, I'll see him at graduation practice this Friday, and then at graduation on Saturday. I wonder what that will be like...

PROM!!

Mon, 26 May 2008 00:05:28 GMT

Anyway, prom ROCKED. I went with Michael (after a year of saying to him "You're GOING to prom with me, dammit!") He showed up at my house at 4:45 in his tux. He. Looked. SMEXEH!!!

I hope that works. XP

We ate at the Italian Garden, which was NOT a fancy place. Just as I wanted. HOWEVER, there was a screaming child there, and it annoyed everyone at our table (especially Michael. Poor guy...). It was a "bad" on my part, because I HATE especially fancy settings, so I didn't want to go anywhere too formal. The Italian Garden seemed a good choice...until we got there. But, the food was good, so I don't think anyone minded too much.

Then, we went to prom...and showed up early (it didn't start until 8:00, and we got there 45 minutes early). This is where the fun begins.

When we got out of Michael's Dad's car, a group of people were standing by the entrance. They asked us, as we passed, quite boldly "Are ya'll getting married?" lmao Nooooo...

Then we went upstairs to the ballroom, where we were thrown out onto the parking deck until 8:00. XD Poor Michael was distracted by this point, that he didn't have a circle of friends to talk to besides me. He looked around for people he knew, but they hadn't shown up yet. He and I talked, meandering around the parking deck, until FINALLY they let us in at 8:00

For about half of prom, Micheal and I sat at a table by the dance floor...wishing we could dance. Here's why we didn't:

1) because we figured we didn't know how, and
2) because we figured that if we DID somehow manage to wander onto the dance floor, we would look silly/dumb trying to dance

So, we didn't dance. Instead, we people-watched. For a while. Then we got bored out of our minds, and wandered around until we found the food. lol By this point, we had our picture taken together by a whole lot of people. Especially Mrs. Ramsey and Mr. Falls, who were chaperones. Then some of our friends wanted pictures (especially people that I half-knew and Michael just didn't know at all). But anyway. We found the food, and ate some chocolate-covered brownies and things. Then, Kasey came along, and tutored Michael how to dance "with control". By the time they announced the Prom King (Zack Lemhouse) and Prom Queen (Rachael Lee), Michael was confident enough to get on the dance floor. So we did, and from 11:00 until midnight, we danced until we were sweating (by the time we got to the dance floor, the ballroom was like a sauna...it was SOOOO humid in there!) and our feet were ready to fall off. We danced like maniacs, and we slow-danced. It was fun, and we wished we could have danced sooner. lol

So that was prom. It was a blast, and Michael and I were left wishing that we had more dances like that one so we could dance some more. XD

MICHAEL IS SEXY IN A TUX!!!

An interesting week

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:51:52 GMT

Let's see, where to start. I took my last pill of Geodon Sunday night, and by Tuesday I was ready to pass out all day. I took a couple of visits to several different doctors over the week, and by Spring Break (which starts today) they decided they're going to do some tests to look for...epilepsy. Yep, epilepsy. Which is ironic, considering I've done at least two research papers on it, and know a couple of people who have it. I've never had a grand mal seizure that I know of, or any other seizure for that matter. Daydreaming, yes, I do a lot of. And, the neurologist says I walk funny.

Anyway. Michael and I have been going out for almost a week now. He's so cute. He's like a puppy, always wanting "scritched" on the head. XD He's so sweet. Thank goodness he's not a pervert or anything. That would be veeeery awkward. XP

He said YES! dances

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 14:02:21 GMT

Yay! Michael is my bf now. *dances some more* I'm quite happy right now. Although the fact that I'm his first girlfriend is a little worrying, this should go well. I hope I can keep him. Lately I haven't had that much luck. Remember Matthias? Yeah...

But still...*dances*

Dear God, I'm terrified...

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 23:25:03 GMT

Aw, hell. I shouldn’t have sent that e-mail. Dammit, he’s gonna read it at, like, 2-3:00 in the morning and think "OMG WTFH? O.O;"

If you can’t tell, I just sent my crush an e-mail. Asking him out, more or less. OMFG. Terrified is an understatement. I can’t believe I just did that. Our friendship’s gonna disappear real fast when he reads it, I can already tell. T.T Just like between me and Matthias, we’re gonna end up not seeing each other anymore, or even hearing from each other. Our friendship’s gonna deteriorate until it disappears, all because of that god-damned e-mail. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!

I’m scared to death now. I’m gonna go do something else to distract me...O___O;;;

OMG I'M GETTING A CAT!!!

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 23:17:21 GMT

Yay! I saw the most beautiful cat at PetSmart today. He (or she, as there was no chart toindicate a gender) has long, black fur and the most beautiful golden eyes. I told my dad "If you don't get me this cat, I'm gonna cry!" He said "No", and by God I cried all the way to Target, and all the way home, until he finally gave in. We're gonna go to PetSmart tomorrow to see if the cat's still there, and if he/she is, then we're getting him/her. <3 I feel like hell now, crying so much, and I feel so childish for doing so. But, you know, my sister has a ferret and a fish, Dad has Tiffany, and I don't have a pet to call my own. Dad would never let me get one, not even a fish. But, he finally gave in today and we're getting a cat. I'm either going to name it Damon (if it's a boy) or Cassie (if it's a girl).

Anyway, my friend Michael came to my house yesterday after school. He came home with me on the bus. But, right before then, we didn't know if he could go home on the bus because, apparently, it's ILLEGAL to take a friend home with you on the bus. Not against RULES or REGULATIONS, but against the LAW. What sort of dumbass would write such a law, I wonder? I mean, sure, capacity may be an issue, but people CAN sit 3 to a seat if the going gets tough. It's bullshit, and I never saw any proof of this law. It's only what I'm told. Dammit, I'm not gonna bother with the bus anymore. Next time Michael comes over, dammit, I'm having Pappy come pick us up. I'm not gonna put either of our nerves through that bullshit again. My nerves got so racked up yesterday that I was ready to pass out during math class. It was that bad. But, he rode the bus with me, and that's all that matters. X3

Buaha. X3

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:51:35 GMT

Well, hello to nobody! I'm in a shitty mood today for no apparent reason, so I thought I'd blog/rant a little bit.

First off, school...sucks. Badly. Not ONLY does the first half of my day consist of absolutely NOTHING, but the second half of the day has me working my tail off just to keep from failing. For one thing, my English teacher seems to be project-happy. It's project after project after essay after project...it's so annoying! Then, there's my Math teacher, who just assigned me a 10-page essay (yes, I said essay...for a MATH class) just for being absent! Sure, I was out for two weeks in February because of illness, but that doesn't mean you have to assign such a big paper! A 5-page paper would have been just fine, but it's double that. I'll give her something, but it sure as HELL won't be 10 pages. D< It's one thing to feel sorry for me and assign me shit to make up for being absent, but its another thing if you're going completely overboard about it. I'm the only one in the class who has to do this paper -- everyone else got to do a survey project! Why the hell can't I just do my own survey project? It's a helluva lot easier than a 10-page report about some scientist who existed at some point!

I've been thinking about Mother, and I don't know why. And it's pissing me off. Just thinking about how she treated me and my sister (especially my sister) when we lived with her...it's a load of shit. It could have been a helluva lot better, no matter how much money she has. She may be poorer than dirt, but that doesn't mean she can treat us like shit on the bottom of her shoe. No, she treated us WORSE than shit on the bottom of her shoe, and if I'd thought of it a long time ago, I would have gone to Social Services about it. But I didn't, because I thought it was normal. Who the hell knows what normal is anyway? The only reason I know the John bullshit wasn't normal was because of all the stories that I've heard from the news. Child abuse is something I should have covered in my senior project. When you think about it, me and my sister have been through ALL of the types of abuse, with Mother doing the most with physical, mental, and verbal! It's so stupid to think that a mother would treat her children in such a way. I know, it could have been MUCH worse, but that doesn't stop me from thinking that, maybe, if Mother HAD been able to afford medicine, could she have been better towards us? Could she have not thrown us across the room, or not slap us in the face for doing nothing at all, or even not cussing at us at every opportunity?

Just something to think about...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:39:50 GMT

FINALLY! I found the New Weblog Entry button. Effin' updates, pissing me off. D<

Well, it seems people don't come to Xanga anymore, even Emmy. So there's just me. *is sad* So, I guess I'll just talk to myself from now on, about my own shit, and no one will ever read it because they don't care. It's kind of sad, really, to see such a good site go to waste. Stupid MySpace. It's blocked at my school (which is where I'm at right now) so I can't blog there. Dammit.

Well, I'm going to graduate in about 5 months or less (06-07-08), and I'm going to Converse College afterward. I've filled out my FAFSA, I've sent the effin' $300 deposit, and I've been doing everything I can to get scholarships. So far, even the LIFE scholarship seems unlikely at this rate. Sure, I'm in the top 24% of my class, but...that may change if Mrs. Thompson has her way. T__T

Man, it's project after project after project, and that's only one class! In case Mrs. Thompson hasn't noticed, I've got other classes BESIDES HERS to attend to. It makes me so mad, because I'm probably going to be screwed out of that scholarship because of her, and so might Michael! Michael is already close to failing that class, and if he fails then he can't graduate! It's so sad, he's done everything he needs to do (HSAP, SAT, passed all of his classes, got all of his credits, etc.), but he's being totally screwed over by Mrs. Thompson and I'm afraid he may not graduate with me! I shouldn't be bothered so badly by this, but I am! I'm going to cry if he doesn't walk across that stage with me, and I swear to whatever gods there are that I'll seek revenge on Mrs. Thompson if she fails him. I'll at the very least cuss her out (after I graduate, tee hee), and at best give her a good punch in the eye. She deserves it -- college is NOT this hard! She's making it harder than it should be. Why can't she be like the other teachers, who are more helpful and realistic?! Michael needs help, not to be yelled at at every opportunity. Me? I'm fine. I've got almost all of the information I need to do my senior project. It's Michael that I'm worried about. I'm serious. I'm scared to DEATH that he may not graduate with me after all the hard work he's done. He's less lazy than I am, he gets his work done, he tries. I'm lazy as sin and I'm still making a better grade than him. He's so close to failing right now it's not anywhere near funny. *sigh* I'm trying to help him but he's so stubborn. He can't find any sources, he isn't looking for the interview, he expects everything to fall into place, and it's not. Not everything is going to be there, he's not looking hard enough for the information. I'm going to get him that interview if it kills me, but if he doesn't get his act together then he's going to fail and not be able to graduate -- the Senior Project is required to graduate, and if he doesn't do it then no matter what kinds of grades he makes he's not going to graduate!

Beh. The bell's gonna ring in a minute. I'd better get off...

sings off key

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 02:17:30 GMT

Happy birthday TO ME!
Happy birthday TO ME!
It's good to be 18!
Happy birthday to me!

Well, I can quite easily say that this has been the best birthday ever.

Did I spend it with friends? Not necessarily.

But first, I'll tell you about last night:

Last week, I got an e-mail from my admissions counselor at Converse, Jessi, inviting me and my dad to what I assumed was a meeting of sorts, and be in the company of the president of the college, Betsy Flemming. Well, last night, my dad and I went there, and...my dad put it this way: "We were like a couple of rednecks at a black tie party." Seriously. Everyone there was wearing business suits, there was champagne and chocolate, we were serenaded by a couple of insanely gifted music students, and, yes, Ms. Flemming was there. Along with both Aaron Meis (Dean of Admissions at Converse College) and someone I'm going to call Mike (Dean of Petrie School of Music). Dad and I both felt underdressed, but we had a blast. Everyone there was so nice and encouraging, and the hostess was a very good artist and showed us her art gallery in her studio apartment. It rocked.

Now, for the best birthday a girl could ever have.

I woke up this morning for school at regular time, and was sent back to bed because of a two-hour delay. I thought "Aw, hell, there's ice on the roads" and went back to bed for two hours. I got up at 8:15, looked out the window, and...omfg. Snow. At least 1 inch of snow on the ground.

I could not be happier.

When I got to school, I hung out a bit with some of my buddies, got snow down my shirt, and joked with Chris. Then, we were sent to homeroom, where I joined up with my friend Michael (who I rarely get to see). We found out at that point that we were to skip 1st block (which, for me, is the EXTREMELY boring Study Hall) and going to 2nd block. So, no boring old Study Hall for me today. THEN, during lunch, I found that the lunch group was so small that I could actually get away with having a table to myself and not have anyone bothering me. In English class, we were supposed to choose one person we looked up to that we knew personally (I chose...Aaron Meis because I had talked with him quite a bit last night), and then to write a 20-sentence "speech" that they would give at our graduation ceremony. About us. I about DIED, because I had only met Mr. Meis last night. So, laughing my ass off, I wrote a horrid but glowing speech in the voice of Mr. Meis about me. It's hilarious.

When I got home, I had to go to a doctor's appointment, but it had to be rescheduled because someone stole my appointment. Seriously. My appointment was at 5:00, the doctor had put in 6:00, and someone stole my 5:00 appointment. So, we got to go to dinner early. We went to Olive Garden, where I had some awesome calamari and soup. Katie finally blabbed to the waitress that it was my birthday, and the waitress gathered up all the waiters/waitresses in the room at the time and they sang to me and gave me some cheesecake.

Finally, to top it off, I got a bicycle as a gift, and we've got ANOTHER 2-hour delay tomorrow morning.

Life is sweet.

OMFG...

Fri, 25 May 2007 18:15:13 GMT

...I haven't updated since the beginning of November! O__O; Wowww...Okay, I guess I'm overdue for an update! XD

I flunked NaNoWriMo with only 3,335 words written out of 50,000. Damn. BUT! Coming June, I'll be trying again with ScriptFrenzy, which is a similar contest started by the same people that forces us to write a 20,000 word screen/stageplay rather than a 50,000 word novel. It doesn't sound too bad yet, and I'm going for it!

Let's see...OH, I'm off my Zoloft now, and I've been feeling...fussy, to tell the truth, but other than that I've been pretty good! I'm looking forward to a very busy June, followed by an empty July, and a loooooong summer vacation that actually started yesterday for me.

Hmm...I'm really not that talkative today. My sis moved back in with Mother...uhhh...I've gone back to fencing practices after not having gone for over a year....that's been pretty good. I've reached that really slow learning curve, though, so I'm still the weakest person in the room when I go to practice, and it'll take a while before there's any real significant improvements in my training. Hell, last week I even lost to the new girl! ><; Though, I think she was in the SCA too, and never said anything...hmm...

Anyways, yeah...I'd do some serious ranting if it weren't for the fact that Mother seems to know where I put my ranting about her and READS IT!!! So...can't do that here. I'll update again soon, I promise! :D